Mongoose Racer-X BMX Bike - Red

Make sure to seat the tire bead properly

So let's say you go to the BMX track on your shiny new red Mongoose Racer-X BMX bike. It says "Racer" right in the name, so it's designed for racing, right? Right.

You line up for the first moto, snap out of the gate, and your chain pops right off of the aggressively ridged steel sprocket. After almost going over the handlebars, you somehow maintain your balance, but end up rolling backwards down the starting hill.

Your first instinct is to hit the brakes, but the brakes pop right off of their bosses. You yank harder on the brake lever, and it snaps and comes off of the handlebars. So you pull the front wheel sideways into a backwards T-stop slider, ripping the front tire right off the bead.

Just then, the bike whips around, and you're going forward again, but the force yanks the back wheel straight out of the dropouts. You lose control and slide off the edge of the track, where the groundskeeper is painting a white picket fence, and you smash right into his can of white paint, which gets all over your frame.

Unfortunately for you, it rained last night, and you land in a big mud puddle on the other side of the fence. A sharp rock in the middle of the puddle tears your seat to shreds. Your handlebar jabs into the ground as you land, poking through the end of the grip, and you hit your head and pass out. By the time you wake up, the water in the puddle has rusted your cranks and handlebars, and the friendly handyman has used duct tape to fix your torn saddle.

That's one possibility, anyway. Scroll down for more photos.

Nose wheelie machine

Front reflectors make it easy for cars behind you to see you

What is that thing clamped to the handlebars?

Faux finishes are hip

Why didn't they paint the fork?

If you can't duck it, fuck it

No need for brakes if you don't have a wheel

Fake Mushrooms, real dirt

Oversized 1020 tubing and chainguard bracket

E/T Cycle Center of Croton-on-Hudson, NY (closed)

Kind of a cool-looking steel sprocket

One endo too many